I have officially gone over to the dark side. I was at the store the other day, and I was looking for shaving razors. I saw that they were having a sale on the Mach 6, or whatever the hell they are calling that new razor with the six blades. Seeing as how it was cheaper for me to buy a new one of those razors than new razor heads for my existing Mach 3(by the way, why the hell are razors so freaking expensive?), I decided to try out the new one, even if the prospect of six blades on one razor seems absolutely ludicrous. I had put off trying the new razor because I know how I am, and the second I try an upgraded item, I become hooked on it. Well that's exactly what happened here, and I now can never go back to my Mach 3; it only has half as many razors as this new thing. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to shop for myself.

Along those same lines, it may finally be time for me to try some Tag body spray. I think the commmercials for Tag are absolutely hilarious in their shamelessness. They are the ones where a guy puts on the body spray and then women constantly jump him. The only thing that's missing from those commercials is nudity, and let's face it, we're probably only a year or two away from this. If I were Tag, I would say the hell with it and sponsor a porno where the plot is that a guy puts on the spray and then an orgy erupts every time. Believe me, this would be a better plot than about 95% of the adult films I've seen.

Did Phillies fans boo Jimmy Rollins when his hitting streak stopped at 38 games? Because that would sound about right.

I've really tried to talk myself back into the NBA this year. I'm glad they finally introduced an age limit, even if it should be 20 rather than 19. Also, the style of play seems to be swinging back from the clutching and grabbing of the slicked-back Satan's Knicks and Heat teams of the 90's to a more opened-up and free-flowing game, with the Suns as probably the best example of that. I also like that David/Daniel Stern (I always get it mixed up which one is an NBA commissioner and which one starred in Home Alone) is afraid to mess with the players and tell them what to do, with the dress code being the best example. I hope Stern gets drunk on his power and does something really ridiculous, like outlawing tattooes and cornrows. I want this to happen for two reasons. Firstly, I like to see a lot of conflict. But more importantly, a move like that seems to be the best bet to trigger race riots not seen since Rodney King, and I could go for a new TV.

Still, I haven't been able to become an NBA fan again; I simply don't care to follow the Bulls. I like John Paxson, and I think he's done a commendable job of bringing in quality hard-working guys. In fact, Paxson's work can not be understated. In a league where it is mind-numbing to think about how many incompetent general managers are able to earn a paycheck, Paxson came up with a revolutionary idea: let's draft those prospects who have shown the ability to produce consistently at lower levels. While this seems like an absolute no-brainer, it is fairly unique in the NBA, where a general manager can make one good move in fifteen and be considered above average. Another thing I like about the Bulls is Kirk Hinrich gives hope to goofy looking white guys everywhere.

Still, I think the reason I don't care to watch the Bulls can be traced back solely to Tyson Chandler. I have never seen an athletic, 7-foot player that has less basketball skills than him. I was just at the bar the other day that was showing a Bulls game, and it was frustrating to watch the guy. I mean, as of right now, Chandler is only averaging 5.4 points. I understand that being 7 feet tall doesn't guarantee you success in the league: there are plenty of awkward stiff guys (Shawn Bradley) who are simply there to block a few shots and grab a few rebounds. This isn't the case with Chandler; the guy has athleticism to boot. Chandler's problem is that he lacks any and all basketball skills. It's quite surprising really: you would think that over the course of playing basketball as long as he has, that he would pick up something, like the ability to dribble, or to shoot a free throw, or even to perform a very basic post move. And yet, nothing.

I sure am starting to get excited over Pearl Jam's new album that is coming out in May. The first single Worldwide Suicide is a very catchy song that I like the more I listen too. I doubt that Pearl Jam can ever attain the success they had with Ten, Vs, and Vitalogy, but if the other songs on the album sound as good as the first single does, we could be looking at a mini-comeback this summer. I for one am just glad that they have decided to start writing some rockers again.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are also coming out with a new album in May, and I'm not sure whether to be excited about it or not. The new mellow melancholy sound that the Chili Peppers have had was interesting on Californication, but when they returned to it on By The Way it started to get a little old. The new track that they've released, called Dani California, sounds like more of the same. Also, am I the only one who is getting sick of the Chili Peppers continually singing songs about California? We get it: there are a lot of fake people out there; you don't need to keep telling us. Right now, the only other band that has been this uniquely focused on California the last couple of years is the one that sings the O.C.'s theme song (and yes, I know they are called Phantom Planet).