Spring

Well the snow seems to be melting, girls with eating disorders are throwing up twice as much out of fear that they're going to soon be seen in bathing suits, and the Cubs are exactly zero games out of first place in their division. That can mean only one thing: spring is finally here. It never fails to lift my spirits when winter begins to end. Sure it happens every year, but when in January it's -10 degrees with 30 mile an hour winds, there's always that fear in the back of my mind that maybe this is the winter that is never going to end. I suppose this year I really shouldn't complain: this was my first non-South Bend winter in five years. And you really haven't experienced hell on earth until you've lived in South Bend for a winter. Sometime around November, the sun disappears, and wouldn't you know it, the damn thing doesn't come back until around mid-March. I don't really know where it goes; I'd imagine to places like Florida or Arizona, where thousands of college girls wear bikinis all the time, are constantly drinking, and give it up like there's no tomorrow(at least that's what I've been told. Why did I go to Notre Dame again?). But that doesn't happen in South Bend. I've often called South Bend the armpit of America, and there certainly are some similarities. It's dark, it's usually damp, and it smells funny. But at least an armpit is warm.

But anyway, enough about complaining about the past: spring is here, which means we'll probably only have one or two more snowstorms before we're in the clear until November. Here are a couple of reasons that I love spring:

1) Shamrock shakes - What can I say? I am a sucker for those delicious mint milkshakes, and it's not just because they have an Irish connection or that their appearance means St. Patrick's Day is never far off: I really love their taste. The shamrock shake really only loses points because I have yet to figure out a good mixed drink that incorporates them, although that's not for a lack of trying.

2) Tube tops - Hallelujah! After months of seeing nothing but parkas and sweaters, there's usually one day when every woman alive decides at the same time that it is warm enough to start wearing more revealing clothing again. This whole process fascinates me, as I always wonder how women all manage to pick the same day; it must be an estrogen thing. I only wish that someone would give me the heads-up the day before, so that I could cancel any plans I may have made that day to bear witness to this glorious occasion. Still, there is nothing more exciting than walking down the street, seeing a couple of girls in tube tops or summer dresses, and realizing that today is the day. A word of warning, though: it is dangerous to ask a girl out on this day. The exuberance one feels from finally seeing some skin is not dissimilar to the phenomenon of beer goggles.

3) St. Patrick's Day - The holiest day of the year, as well as the most fun. At least, I'm told I've had fun on St. Patrick's Day: personal memories get a little sketchy after 10 A.M. As my friend Bucket often noted, "Where else are you going to find a holiday that reinforces stereotypes about an entire ethnicity?" And sure, there can be problems with millions of people deciding to act like a stereotype for a day, but remember: it's not just the Irish people who are joining in the festivities. There may be a large number of public intoxication or urination tickets given out that day, but they were more than likely given out to Italians: a real Irishman has no problem holding his liquor.

4) Sundays in Lent - Sure, Lent itself is not terribly fun. A period of forty days where Catholics are supposed to fast or abstain from certain enjoyments, Lent has probably caused more than a few Catholics to seriously consider Scientology. Understanding, however, that humans can be weak and that forty days is a freaking long time, the Catholic Church allows Catholics to take Sundays off from their Lenten fasts. Oftentimes these Sundays, chock full of fornication, masturbation, Girl Scout cookies, and ice cream, are a lot more fun than regular non-Lent days as a Catholic.

5) Baseball - Like dating the head cheerleader in high school, oftentimes the idea of baseball is better than the actuality of it. The slow pace of the game has meant that more than a few times in the middle of watching a game I will start flipping the channels, trying to find an episode of Blind Date. But baseball makes this list for two reasons. First, going to a game is a blast, provided it's not 35 degrees out and you're inexplicably wearing shorts and sandals. Secondly, the length of the season makes for great drama, even if watching every single pitch can get a little old. No other sport has nearly as long of a season with so many games, and I enjoy following the outcome of every one of them. Spring is special because it's right at the beginning of that long season, and every team has a chance to make this year their year(well except for the Royals, Devil Rays, Reds, Pirates, Diamondbacks, Rangers, Orioles, Brewers, Marlins, Nationals, Rockies, or Padres). Hell, in spring I can imagine that the even the Cubs have a chance this year, assuming of course that Roger Clemens is done pitching for the Astros and that half of the Cardinals team catches the bird flu. It could happen.

So there you have it: my five favorite things about spring. A couple of honorable mentions: March Madness, finding a 20 dollar bill in the pocket of your shorts that you put away for the winter, and the opening of the seasonal Dairy Queen by my house. And yes, I am fully aware that by writing an article about spring being here I am virtually guaranteeing six more weeks of frigid snowy weather. I'm like the anti-groundhog, but I don't care.