I don't really follow the news, but I do have a vague understanding of current topics, mostly gleaned from overhearing other people's conversations or a couple minutes of The Daily Show every week. There seems to be some kind of concern over wiretapping recently; I think it has something to do with the head of the CIA, but I may be mistaken, and I am certainly too lazy to actually look it up online. This entire fear over wiretapping is something that I find very amusing. As far as I can tell, it comes from people greatly overestimating their own importance. There seems to be this fear, and even outrage by some, that the government is listening in on the lives of ordinary citizens like you and me.

I, for one, don't understand this at all. Let me be the first to allay many people's fears: the government does not give a damn about you. Were you not to have your social security card or driver's license, the government would more than likely have absolutely no clue who you even are. Sure if you are stupid enough to commit a serious crime directly in front of the government's nose, they might take a passing interest in you. Oh, and they also don't like it when you stop paying your taxes. But other than that, you are simply not important enough for the government to care about you. We are talking about people here who's official jobs deal with keeping this country running as smoothly and safely as possible(though how effective they are at this is certainly debatable), and who's unofficial jobs involve bribes, drugs, and the best prostitutes in the entire country. Do you really think these people give a damn about your conversation with your friend over how you think the bald guy from American Idol got screwed? Or about you recounting your Texas Hold 'Em tournament last week? Trust me, most of the shit that you talk about over the phone with your friends is the most useless, inane prattle ever known to man. And I know: I've been listening outside your window. And believe me, no one with a life of any kind cares enough to listen to this bullshit. Hell, it's sometimes so boring that it makes me want to go out, clean myself up, and "interact" with "people." So do you really think these guys, who have women who will sleep with them simply because they have power, really have the time or the interest to listen in on you whining to your sister that your mom has cancer? They have much more important things to do, like figuring out which country we're going to attack next (my guess: Uzbekistan. I'm not too sure where it is, but I'm pretty sure they don't care too much for America, seeing as they are not located within America).

I'm back! and Dusty Baker sucks

Downright considerate of the Cubs to tank the season before I got too attached. Usually this would be the time they would start to get hot, maybe win 7 or 8 out of 10, all just to get my hoipes up before the annual June Swoon, where I would turn my attention to other things, such as the Road Rules/Real World challenge, or dog jumping at the Outdoor Games. This year, though they've sped up the whole process, freeing up a lot of time for me. Thus I can start devoting all my energy towards the anticipation of the coming college football season, or at least the coming release of NCAA 2007 sometime in July. Heck, while writing this article, I have already checked NDNation four times and Irish Eyes twice (I've also visited MrSkin.com eight times, but that's really the subject of an entirely different article). And though I am fully aware of the possibility that the universe will see my increased fervor in Notre Dame football and decide to punish the team into something like a 7-5 record (thus ensuring my disappointment, which, from what I can tell, the universe gets off on), I find myself without other distractions to keep my excitement down. Which brings us back to the Cubs' futility, which can never be discussed without mentioning Dusty Baker.

At this point, let me say that I don't like being right all the time. Frankly, it tends to take a lot of the surprise out of life. And though I don't particularly like Dusty Baker the man, I really did want Dusty Baker the manager to succeed. All I want is for the Cubs to win a World Series in my lifetime, and Baker being a good manager would have made that much easier. But with Baker showing his incompetence, now the Cubs are going to have to go out and find another manager. Maybe they decide on Brenly, who's probably the popular choice, but then they'd have to find another color commentator. So anyway they go about it, there's gonna be interviews to be held, background checks to be run, and references to be checked; it will be a hassle.

So I'm not happy that Baker has proven to be inept, but I do feel a perverse sense of vindication that people are starting to agree with me. Just in today's Chicago Tribune, Phil Rogers wrote a scathing article (at least as scathing an article as a paper owned by the same company as the Cubs can write) entitled "Injury Excuse is Getting Lame." The article didn't say anything particularly insightful, but it is notable because it is the first newspaper article I have read that questioned whether Baker is competent enough to manage the Cubs.

Hopefully this means that the Tribune Corporation finally wakes up and sees that something needs to be done. If I were them, I would be starting to get nervous; this is a pretty dangerous time for them. The White Sox play an entertaining style of baseball, seem to have genuinely likable guys on their team, are led by a charismatic manager(although he is a bit of an ass), and more importantly, are winning. Though I have serious doubts as for whether the White Sox can ever overtake the Cubs in terms of popularity on both the city and national level, if I were the Cubs ownership, I would not want to take that chance with a fundamentally-flawed team that is woefully inconsistent in their effort and "led" by an ass who routinely makes excuses for his failures. I don't mean to make it seem like the White Sox are good character guys who save women and children from burning buildings and the Cubs are selfish prima donnas who steal from orphans and force them to live on the street because that isn't true; the Cubs have a fair amount of likable players as well. However, there is a big difference in the styles of play and an even bigger difference in results, and in both cases the Cubs are on the short end. And if you think that those two factors aren't going to end up affecting the Cubs' attendance and bottom line in the long term, then maybe you are dumb enough to manage the Cubs.

So the Cubs clearly need to do something, and it's becoming more an more clear that their first move should be to start looking for a new manager. It's extrememly frustrating to follow the Cubs because they are so horrendously coached. They fall behind in the counts, both when pitching and batting, they regularly have baserunning gaffes, they miss the cutoff man frequently: the list goes on and on. One thing that really gets me is how the Cubs give away at bats. When they focus, they're capable of stringing hits together and scoring runs. However, even in games in which they're hitting well, they'll go on autopilot for three or for innings. At this point, they'll stop being patient at the plate and basically devolve into a slow-pitch softball team. Everyone will start swinging at the first pitch, and it's not uncommon for the side to be retired in four to five pitches. They'll also start exclusively swinging for the fences, which will more than likely result in a bunch of weak pop-ups.

Now let's talk about all the injuries the Cubs have had in the past four years. This seems to be the most common defense of Baker, that he's never had the opportunity to have his whole team at his disposal. I do admit that their has been an alarmingly high number of injuries to key members of the team. However I see the injuries as one more indictment against Baker. Some people have believed that the rash of injuries are because the Cubs are simply cursed. After all, how else could they have failed to win the World Series in 98 years? Though it is true that the Cubs have sucked for a very long time, it's not like every one of those years the team suffered a crippling injury. In the last four years, however, the Cubs have suffered injuries to just about every one of their best players. That time span just happens to be how long Baker has been with the team. So if these injuries are the result of God, it seems much more likely that He is not against the Cubs, but against Baker, who it can only be assumed somehow wronged him. As a result, the Cubs should repent and cast Baker out from amongst them. In all seriousness though, I have a hard time believing that Baker has nothing to do with the rash of injuries the Cubs have suffered. Let's not forget that for Baker's first two years, the Cubs had a trainer, Dave Groeschner, who wasn't licensed to practice in the state of Illinois. Groeschner was one of Baker's guys who followed him over from San Franscisco. Though the fact the Cubs employed an unlicensed trainer is equally an indictment of Jim Hendry, the simple fact of the matter was that this guy was Baker's personal choice and he wouldn't have been in Chicago were it not for him.

If I really wanted to, I could go on and on for much longer about Baker's deficiencies as a manager. I won't though, because this article is already long enough and I would mostly be repeating myself from earlier complaints. The point is the Cubs still have a chance if they get rid of Baker. I mean, the team really isn't that far away from being a contender, at least when (if?) they are all healthy. A person far more naive than I am could even point out that the 2003 Florida Marlins (yes, those Florida Marlins) were in an even worse way early in their season until they fired manager Jeff Torborg, promoted Jack McKeon, and started getting hot. I would never be naive enough to believe something like that, but I'm sure some fans would be. It's just something to think about.

The End of an Era

At 2:00 pm on Monday, May 8th, the Rainbow closed its doors for (presumably) the last time. And with that, another vestige of my childhood has faded away, along with things like Santa Claus, American-made Saturday morning cartoons, and the concept that kids can play outside without getting kidnapped by criminals, molested by clergy, or hit by drunk drivers. The reason for the closure is assumed to be because the owner was caught evading taxes, although it's important to note that this conclusion has primarily come from rumors, and I don't put much stock in rumors anymore. So take it for what it's worth: I would hate to ruin the credibility of a website as highly esteemed and trusted by its audience as this one by posting unsubstantiated rumors.

Anyway, the Rainbow, for those of you who don't know, is a diner/cocktail lounge where I have been eating breakfast on Sundays for at least ten years now. It is attached to a bowling alley. There are certainly people out there who find its rather blue collar setting a little off-putting (Lord knows those soulless chain restaurants like Perkins and Denny's are significantly brighter and cleaner), but it has never bothered me. The food was, for the most part, nothing particularly spectacular either: it certainly wasn't bad, but it wasn't breathtaking either. Except, that is, for the soup. Oh, the soup. If there really is a heaven, all I can say is, they better have have ample amounts of that soup there. Every Sunday the soup of the day was cream of chicken rice soup, and I have never had a soup better than it. It was easily my favorite thing in the world to eat hungover, handily beating out burritos or anything deep fried. It always managed to fill you up without upsetting your stomach, which is always a concern when hungover (it is important to note that on that one fateful day, it was a french fry stuck in my throat, and not the soup, that caused me to vomit all over the front of the Rainbow). All in all, that cream of chicken rice soup probably cracks the top five on the list of my favorite foods in the world.

But more than the food, the Rainbow was special because it was mine. I knew almost everyone who worked there, and they all knew me. I also knew a decent amount of the regulars who frequented the place. When a member of my family couldn't make it to breakfast, the waitstaff would always notice and ask why they weren't there. When I came in hungover (a not infrequent occurrence) they would always notice and bring out pitchers of water without me asking. Mundelein isn't the biggest of cities, but it isn't a one-stoplight town where everyone knows each other either. At the Rainbow, however, I always felt connected to that small-town mythos that may or may not have existed before everything got turned into a suburb. I always got a kick out of that. In the end, you really can't put a price on being able to walk into a place, order "the usual," and have them know exactly what you mean. Even if they did occasionally bring me a pickle when I didn't want one.

To be honest, it still hasn't hit me that it's gone. My guess is that I won't fully grasp the situation until Sunday, when we have to figure out what we're doing for breakfast. I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, do you try out another restaurant, knowing it can never be as good, or do you just give up on the whole concept of Sunday morning breakfast? Though I don't know what we're going to do next, one thing is clear: hangovers are going to be hung just a little more over now that a Mundelein institution has gone.