Hello Internet

Having recently quit my job, it occurred to me that I was one step closer to becoming a hobo. While it will undoubtedly be awesome to be able to stop worrying about hygiene and start drinking at 8 in the morning, the one problem with being a hobo is that no one ever listens to any of your ideas. Even if you are a true visionary hobo with profound thoughts ahead of their time, all the world will ever see is a crazy wino wearing a tin foil hat. This is a problem for me, as I have a lot of ideas. All these ideas are why I'm starting a blog.

So here is the first of what I hope will be many articles on this site. For anyone kind enough to actually read this site, I have a couple of promises for you. First of all, I promise to write a new article every Tuesday and Thursday, at the least. Additionally, I promise that about 75% of what I write will be written while I am relatively sober. And finally, I promise that that other 25% will contain some of the crudest, foulest language ever known to humankind, and I expect the racial slurs to be plentiful. But fear not: I plan to offend all races equally, so as not to appear a bigot. Except for you Eskimos; I've got an ax to grind with you.

So now that I have told you part of what to expect from me as a writer, I should write a little something about what the subject of this blog will be. I have a problem, however: I don't really know what that subject should be. As I sit here racking my brain, it becomes apparent to me that there are only three subjects for which I have both interest and knowledge: sports, music, and the career of Corey Haim. Seeing as there are websites that already specialize in these subjects (www.espn.com, www.rollingstone.com, www.coreyhaim.de, respectively), I don't know if I can offer anything these established websites don't already. As a result, I don't think the specialized approach is the way to go for this blog. Rather, I'm going to take the completely random, make-shit-up-as-I-go-along approach to blogging. So, for example, if I want to talk about how Dusty Baker is holding back the Chicago Cubs, I'll do that. If I want to talk about how I'm afraid I'm slowly getting hooked on Grey's Anatomy, I'll do that too. Hell, if I want to write on the military practices of China during the late Ming Dynasty, I'll do that as well. And if you don't want to read my random thoughts, then don't. I don't promise that reading this blog will be fun, but I do promise it will be a time killer. And let's face it, the majority of people on the internet are only interested in killing time anyway, whether it be at work or waiting for that porn video to finally download.