So I was going to watch the State of the Union last night, but instead decided to flip over to cable and watch Some Like It Hot (I'd never seen it before; a very funny movie, especially considering it was made in the 50's) and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band (a revelation if there ever is one. I think I vaguely knew that there was a movie called Sgt. Pepper's based on Beatles music, but I always assumed that the Beatles were actually in the movie and that it was made during that period of their history when they were appearing in more commercials and on more merchandise than Peyton Manning ever did. Little did I know that the movie came out in 1978, eight years after the Beatles broke up, and that Billy Preston is the closest thing to a Beatle that actually appears in the movie. Anyway, I say that this movie is a revelation because a)it explains how Aerosmith came to cover "Come Together" and Earth, Wind, and Fire came to cover "Got To Get You Into My Life," and b) it means that at some point in time, someone actually thought Peter Frampton (sans talking guitar) and the fucking Bee Gees were acceptable stand-ins for the Beatles. How must the Beatles have felt about all this? I have very little musical ability, and even I would be offended if I was replaced in something for the Bee Gees. And yet, this was the movie studio's great idea. The 70's are a fascinating time to me). Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the State of the Union address. It sounds like Bush pretty much just said, "Looking good, America." To which America pretty much said, "Feeling good, W." And then Bush sailed away on his yacht with his hermaphrodotic ex-hooker girlfriend. Or, you know, something. By the way, do Presidents give State of the Union speeches every year? Because if they do, I can't wait for next year's speech, entitled "You Are All Fucked, America, but I Don't Give a Shit Since I'll Be Gone in Less Than a Year."

Anyway, I don't bring up the State of the Union for any sort of political discourse, but rather because of something President Bush did during the speech. He actually gave a shout-out to Dikembe Mutombo during the speech. Yes that's right. Dikembe. Mutombo. Dikembe fuckin' Mutombo. Dikembe Mutombo of "who wants to sex Dikembe?" fame. At the State of the Union. And I had no idea and missed it. Who's planning these things? How was Dikembe Mutombo's presence at the State of the Union speech not widely known beforehand. Because if you want to put asses in the seats, Dikembe would put asses in the seats. I would absolutely have watched had I known Dikembe was going to be in attendance. Hell, how many CSPAN's do they got nowadays? Couldn't we have had one focus their coverage exclusively on Dikembe's attendance. And if not an entire channel, at least a little picture in the corner of the screen. I wouldn't get off the couch all night. There would be so many riveting questions. Is Dikembe tagging that woman sitting in front of him? Does he actually understand what the word hegemony means? Will he laugh uproariously for no apparent reason? Does he know that political groupies are not as commonplace as NBA groupies? Or better yet, are political groupies as commonplace as NBA groupies? These are questions we could have learned if CSPAN would have given us a Dikembe channel. Frankly, it feels like a wasted opportunity to me.